


take these bandages off

by KaibaGuy167



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Angst, Gen, M/M, Missing Scene, Trans Character, Trans Male Character, riku and kairi attempt to pass the bechdel test, soriku isnt the main focus but its in there, sort of a canon retelling
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-10
Updated: 2019-07-10
Packaged: 2020-06-25 13:08:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,972
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19746376
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KaibaGuy167/pseuds/KaibaGuy167
Summary: Riku knew exactly who he was, but it wasn't who he was supposed to be. It was easy to ignore until Kairi came to the islands and forced Riku to change his perspective on everything. What exactly did it mean to be a girl, and why did it all feel so wrong?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> im new to the fandom and i was surprised that there was almost no trans riku content on here. so i was forced to write this incredibly self-indulgent fic myself. huge thanks to alissa for helping me edit this! i hope you all enjoy!

Riku never used to wear a shirt on the island. Sure, he might have worn it out the door and on the way there, but once he arrived the shirt was torn off and all but forgotten away from the shore. With the sun beating down and all the playing in the water, there wasn’t really a reason to wear a shirt at all. Selphie was the only one who did wear a top, if she wasn’t wearing a bathing suit that day. For years Riku met up with Sora and the rest of the gang, dutifully tossed his shirt as soon as he got there and pulled it back on before rowing home. It was routine. Well, until Kairi arrived.

Something about Kairi was irritating to Riku. It wasn’t just that she was encroaching on his best-friends-with-Sora territory. It wasn’t that she liked to play the same games as them and spar. It was that she did those things but she still acted like a _girl_. Riku couldn’t understand it. Selphie sparred with them sometimes, but she wasn’t very good and wasn’t concerned with winning either. She was content to swim and collect shells. Riku considered this to be how a girl was supposed to behave. Something he never wanted to do. Of course, Kairi liked to do those things too, but her desire to best Sora or Riku in a fight was unwavering. She liked to train with them, to run laps up and down the beach and do boy push ups. (Selphie could never do more than five of the girl push ups. Not that she was ever trying to, though). She liked to explore the hard to reach parts of the island and never complained about climbing in a dress. She acted like one of the boys and yet, she always kept her shirt on at the island.

\--

The first time Riku kept his shirt on at the play island he was twelve. There was something different about him now. An uncomfortable, nervous energy seemed to roll off of him in waves. Before the school year had ended, something about Riku had changed. Physically.

He was starting to grow breasts.

The change was small at first, minute even. He was hyper aware of it when his chest started to change, but even he had to admit that it wasn’t noticeable with a shirt on. _Maybe they won’t grow more than this_ , he thought. _Maybe they’ll just be really small and no one will notice_. Unfortunately for him, they continued to grow as time went on. And when school let out in June, Riku’s mother looked at him and said, “Sweetie, we should probably go bra shopping before next year. Won’t you want a different swimsuit, too?”. He was mortified and ran up to his room, ignoring his mothers worried cries after him. He was not going to look like a girl.

He really didn’t know what it was about being a girl that he hated so much. He hadn’t even thought about it until Kairi came along. Surely she sensed his distaste for her, but he didn’t think she knew why. Riku himself hadn’t known until now. Before, he was one of the boys. No one thought anything of him playing with no shirt on, in fact, the others simply assumed that he was a boy. They didn’t have to wear uniforms until high school, and with an ambiguous name like Riku there was no real reason to think otherwise. But seeing Kairi filled him with an intense jealousy. Not only about her relationship with Sora, but her relationship with her own gender. For a long time, he hated her and didn’t know why. But in the moment of realizing he was going to have to go out and buy bras with his mother, get a bathing suit top to hold his breasts instead of just wearing his athletic shorts he realized that Kairi didn’t have this problem.

Riku spent more time trying to understand what it was about Kairi that he didn’t like. She did everything Sora and Riku did, but she never felt the need to disguise herself as a boy. She was hardly even bothered when Riku had rudely told her girls couldn’t play with them when he first met her. Whatever Sora said went, and when he invited Kairi to play with them it was over. Riku spent nights sitting on his bed, pressing his hands to his chest as if he could push the tissue back into his ribcage. Every time he did this he thought, _I bet Kairi’s happy to be getting boobs. I bet she’s excited to go bra shopping and get a two-piece suit with frills on it._ Feelings of shame burned in Riku’s chest and he didn’t know why. So what if Kairi liked being a girl? Weren’t girls _supposed_ to like being girls? Tears stung in his eyes. He didn't want to think about it. He couldn’t _stop_ thinking about it. When the thoughts became too much, he would lay down and try to go to sleep.

So Riku started wearing his shirt on the play island. It wasn’t so bad. At least it was sleeveless so he didn’t get too hot. And Sora had started wearing that stupid wetsuit that was too big for him. Riku tried harder to get along with Kairi, hiding his jealousy under friendliness. Maybe if he was better friends with her he could figure out that whole being-comfortable-with-the-gender-you’re-supposed-to-be thing. And yet, no one had figured out he had been lying the entire time. Years passed and Riku put more and more time into training, trying to make his muscles as big as they could be. His voice wasn’t getting any lower, but neither was Sora’s. And Kairi....well, even if he acted nicer to her, he didn’t hate her any less. 

\--

His obsession with escaping this island, this world, grew stronger each day. Talking with Kairi just made Riku feel more alienated from his body and gender, and to make matters worse he got his first period in the middle of summer. Even being a late-bloomer couldn’t prevent the inevitable. He couldn’t even go into the water without having to shove something down there. Down there, where it was wrong. It wasn’t his. He didn’t want it. And he definitely wasn’t going to _touch_ it. Even the bandages wrapped tightly around his chest wouldn’t hide his growing chest forever. The time to get off this island was now. He had to escape and find something out there that could fix this. A doctor or scientist, someone who could make him normal. Something that could make him like Kairi.

\--

Frantically throwing himself into the building of the raft only made Kairi more uncomfortable with Riku than before. She just couldn’t figure him out. It was true that she wanted to see something beyond the islands and find where she came from, but Riku’s intensity scared her. She watched as he chopped the wood and set about tying the logs together. He had been nicer to her in recent years, and they had always been friends but something felt more calculated. It was like he was studying her, trying to find an answer to a question without even asking her. In the past few weeks he had seemed angry. He was even snapping at Sora, which he had never done before. Looking at Sora asleep in the sand, tired from goofing off Kairi knew who she would rather spend weeks on a raft with. 

“Sora, let’s take the raft and go-- just the two of us!”

Sora looked at her as if she had grown a second head. Not quite the reaction Kairi was hoping for. He had to have noticed that Riku had changed. But despite all that, she knew he was Sora’s best friend. Putting on a fake smile she laughed, “Just kidding!”. There was a faraway look in her eyes she couldn’t hide, but Sora didn’t say anything and let her prattle on about her fears. Something was wrong, but she couldn’t tell Sora exactly what. Not yet.

\--

Waking up in a castle bedroom was weird. Waking up next to a lady with horns sitting in a chair next to him was even worse.

“How...did I get here?” He asked, usual bravado gone.

“Why, you were collapsed at my front door. It would have been rude not to take you in!” 

“So I made it off the islands after all...who are you?”

“My name is Maleficent. You were drawn here by the darkness, it would seem that you have an unusual capacity for it.” She smiled as she spoke, though it didn’t seem to reach her eyes. Something sinister glinted in them, though Riku couldn’t figure out what it was. “I can grant you some of its power if you wish. You may stay in this room if--”

“Power? What kind of power? What exactly can the darkness do?” Riku asked completely unguarded, letting eagerness creep into his voice.

“Let’s just say it can solve that little problem of yours...unless you plan on keeping those wrapped up forever?”

The fight was over before it even began.

\--

Apparently there were lots of errands and training to do before one could learn how to use darkness to alter the shape of their body. Riku took to it just like his training at home. He was willing to do anything to change what he was. It felt like his breasts were growing more each day, as if they could change his mind about them if they only became larger.The bandages didn’t cover them well anymore, his chest looked lumpy and foreign. But, if he could gain power over more and more darkness, he would be able to change that soon.

Finding Sora had been elating, at first. The tension in Riku’s body poured away even before Sora started stretching his face out, making him feel silly. 

“Wait a second, where’s Kairi?”

“Isn’t she with you?”

When Sora dropped his head, Riku’s heart leapt. Kairi’s gone! Immediately, disgust replaced his excitement - why had he been excited to hear that? Resolving to make it up to her, as if she even had any idea what he had felt, Riku quickly decided he would be the one to find her. He was going to make things right, finally. He wasn’t even going to be a girl for much longer, right? But as soon as Riku saw how quickly he had been replaced with Donald and Goofy, his determination to save Kairi turned even fiercer. So what if Sora didn’t need them anymore? Riku was going to fix things with Kairi and they’d be better friends than ever. They didn’t need Sora either.

\--

Riku couldn’t pretend he wasn’t at least a _tiny_ bit touched when Maleficent said he was like a son to her.

\--

The search for Kairi ended once Riku arrived in Neverland. She was on top of the clocktower in the middle of the city. He braced himself for the reunion as he used his new and growing powers to scale the tower. He felt sick just looking at her, something wasn’t right. She hadn’t reacted at all when he climbed up next to her. Her body was propped up against the wall, but her open mouth and vacant eyes suggested that there was nothing inside. Everything he wanted to be and everything he couldn’t lay before him, empty. The object of Sora’s affection. The one thing that seemed to cause Riku problems. Coming face to face with her in this state was almost too much. Not to mention the darkness that sapped his energy, twisted his heart.

“Kairi…can you hear me?”

No response. Not even when he placed his hand on her shoulder, or shook her gently. Of course Riku would be the one to find her after all. He had wanted to find her first, keep her away from Sora. He wasn’t scared of them falling in love anymore, instead he wanted to protect Kairi from seeing how Sora had replaced them. The image of Sora laughing without them, content with his new friends hadn’t left Riku’s head. It was like he could even hear Sora’s laughter following him, reminding him that he didn’t mean anything to Sora after all. And if he didn’t mean anything to Sora...well, he just didn’t want Kairi to know.

In a way, Riku was scared of Kairi. He had been nervous to meet up with her without Sora as a buffer, terrified of the way he felt about her. They had never hung out alone back on the islands. Riku knew that his protective instincts for Kairi were misplaced, just as his hatred of her was. Seeking Kairi allowed him to focus on something other than himself once again. Keeping her from Sora would protect her. She couldn’t be hurt by him. She wouldn’t have to see what Riku had seen. He had worried about what he would say to Kairi when he finally found her, but now there was nothing he could say to her. Looking at her empty body was horrifying. Riku wasn’t even sure she was actually alive

He checked that she was still breathing, looking to see the rise and fall of her chest. Her breaths were shallow, but she was alive. Something must have happened to her heart. Riku knew he had to find it, had to fix her. Maybe it was all his fault. Maybe all of his disgusting jealousy and misplaced hatred had caused this to happen when he gave into the darkness. If he could just bring her heart back it would take it all away. He wouldn’t ever think about her that way again. They were friends, weren’t they? And all he had wanted was to be normal. All he wanted was to be like her. To do masculine things but be happy as a woman. He wrapped his arms around her and wept.

\--

“You know Kairi, I never actually hated you.” Though Riku spoke, there was no sign of recognition in Kairi’s face. She simply laid in a castle bed, vacantly staring, waiting for her heart to be returned.

“I was jealous of you- not just of what you and Sora had, but because of who you were. I went so long thinking that I was just one of the boys, and that it was only natural to dress like them. But you…you were different. You played with me and Sora even when you were wearing dresses or skirts. You didn’t feel like you had to be a boy to act like one. You were just a regular tomboy and I...was a freak. I hated myself once I met you. So I decided that I was gonna hate you too.”

Riku’s eyes stung with tears at his confession, though he knew the real Kairi wasn’t there to hear it.

“I wanted what you had. I wanted to be excited about growing boobs, I wanted to feel like a real woman when my period came, like it said I would in that stupid book we both had. I kept my hair long just to keep my parents happy. But Kairi, I was wrong to hate you. The person I really hated was myself. I didn’t understand- I still don’t.”

His voice cracked. Tears were definitely running down his face now. 

“I don’t know why I want to be a boy. I don’t know why I can't be a regular girl just like you! Even now I’m playing some stupid game, trying to chase after something that I don’t even think exists at this point. Trying to protect you feels like trying to protect myself. Kairi, what am I supposed to do?”

Riku suddenly jumped from the chair he was sitting in and turned away from Kairi. 

“I’m going to get your heart back, okay? And then maybe...maybe you can forgive me. We could be friends like we were supposed to be. I’m...sorry, Kairi.”

\--

After everything had been destroyed, standing on the wrong side of the door to darkness, Riku laughed humorlessly. He’d ruined everything, been overcome with darkness, even been possessed. Feelings of shame, regret, and guilt seem to fill every bit of his being. And yet, at the end of it all, he didn’t even have the body he had longed for. The only thing that he could do to repent was utter one last request-

“Take care of her.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the book riku references is "the care and keeping of you" by american girl. every girl i knew had it growing up and we all hated it. im pretty sure its still around in my attic


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Riku and Kairi finally get to Talk

Apologizing to Kairi was the only thing that kept Riku fighting through Castle Oblivion. Each memory world stung as he was forced to remember each princess kidnapped, every world he helped disrupt. Of course, it was all to find Kairi’s heart, but...nothing like that would have happened if Riku hadn’t tried to leave the island. Riku struggled against his own self-hatred, except now he was determined to overcome it rather than give into it. 

Truthfully, he worried much less about Sora. Riku trusted that Sora could take care of himself, and Kairi as well. Though he desperately wanted to apologize to Sora too, Riku’s guilt over hurting Kairi was much stronger. He had treated her poorly all of those years simply because of his own internalized self-hatred, and once he started trying to make amends to her he ended up causing her heart to become lost. It was something he knew he would never be able to forgive himself for.

When Riku heard that Sora was in the castle as well, he panicked. _What about Kairi? I told you to protect her- what are you doing here? Where is Kairi, is she safe?_ Zexion’s taunting made him feel even worse- what if he found Kairi, only for her to never forgive him? It would serve him right. Maybe Sora would hate him too, especially for never telling him the truth. Then where would he be? Alone, and he would deserve it. 

\--

The whole time Riku fought the replica, he was thinking about one thing: what gender was it? Was it binding breasts under the skin tight costume, or was it designed with any at all? He couldn’t help himself, and Riku glanced down at the replica’s legs in between blows. With the tight pants there was no mistaking it. He felt a sick sense of pride, knowing that he had fooled even the leaders of Organization XIII. In some ways, Riku wished that the replica could be real. Then he could exist as a man, even if it was through a fake. But Riku had loose ends he needed to resolve. He had to find Kairi. 

Murder never left a good taste in Riku’s mouth- often he had no choice, forced to fight for his life at every turn. But watching the life drain out of his replica was the worst thing he had seen so far. Being an angsty teen, Riku had thought about dying once or twice, but watching the life drain from his own body was certainly disturbing. The replica even gave a monologue about it’s own death. The replica was slowly consumed by darkness as it spoke, wondering what would happen to it’s soul. Tears gathered in Riku’s eyes and he reassured the replica that it’s heart would go somewhere. Riku turned away as it spoke it’s last words. 

“A faithful replica until the very end. That’s...okay.”

“A faithful replica? No. You were...a boy.”

\--

Riku refused to go to sleep. Not only did he have to scold Sora, he needed to get out and find Kairi. He couldn’t waste a year waiting for that to happen. 

\--

Being in Ansem’s body...wasn’t terrible. Riku felt alienated from his body in a different way than before. He looked exactly like the man that had manipulated, taunted, and abused him. And yet, despite everything, Riku almost _liked_ it. It wasn’t his body, no. But it had all the things he had ever dreamed of. He was so much taller than ever before, and stronger too. His hands were so much bigger, not like the slim ones he had before. Riku had always felt that his hand looked strange holding his keyblade, small and frail holding something so dark. His jaw was chiseled now, and he found himself having to shave. He learned a lot through trial and error, having never shaved his legs or armpits before, though his mother had tried valiantly to get him to do so. Using his keyblade to shave was definitely more difficult than a razor, but Riku didn’t have much choice. It got the job done, anyway.

The thing Riku liked most about this body was that he could finally breathe. After years of tightly binding his chest, he just couldn’t breathe like he used to. Not only were his ribs constricted, he would also fight with his chest bound, constantly out of breath. Now it felt like he could breathe in forever. The lungs of this body were huge compared to what he was used to, not to mention that they weren’t being kept from expanding fully. No one would look him up and down just to clarify what gender he was now. Though Ansem had long hair just as Riku did, there was no mistaking this build.

Most importantly, Riku didn’t have to worry about problems down there. Like how to not bleed through his pants when he was kidnapping princesses or fighting important battles. No terrible cramps to hinder his fighting technique. The thing he had longed for, the thing that separated him from all the other boys on the island- he finally had it. The one thing that could make anyone a real man. If he didn’t look in a mirror, he could pretend it was all his.

\--  
Riku hadn’t wanted to see Kairi again under these circumstances. Not like this, in Ansem’s body. He suddenly felt perverse and embarrassed- would she think that this was what he had wanted? But as soon as Namine had said his name, he knew there was no escaping this conversation.

“Riku, you’re really here?” Kairi reached up to push back his hood, and Riku stood stock still, hardly even breathing. He turned his eyes away. He couldn’t look at her like this. 

“Kairi...there’s so much I want to say to you. I can’t say it now, not when I look like this. But what I can say is, I’m sorry. I am so, so sorry Kairi.”

“You don’t have to say anything, Riku.” Kairi wrapped her arms around his waist, and when she felt a drop of water hit her cheek, she pretended it was only raining.

\--

Fighting alongside Kairi, it almost felt like nothing had changed. Sometimes they would fight two on one battles on the island, everyone scrambling for the right to say they could win an unfair fight. It seemed that Kairi held no ill-will towards Riku either; as she took the keyblade he handed her she even joked about how useless Sora was without the two of them. Riku’s heart wrenched. There was no way that she could forgive him so easily. But he knew he could make it up to her, so long as she stayed.

Seeing Sora again was much harder. There was no way he could show his face- Ansems’s face to Sora. He hoped against hope the Kairi would keep his secret, would keep Sora from knowing what he had become. Of course, the only thing Kairi couldn’t bear about the two of them was when they weren’t talking to each other. She brought Sora’s hand to his, and there was nothing he could do. Seeing Sora drop to his knees at the sheer relief and joy at finding Riku- his heart twisted, both in joy and anguish. He was holding Sora’s hand again, but at such a great cost. Maybe when everything was over, he could tell him the truth. Not just about who Riku really was, but how he felt about him too. But that might have been too much wishful thinking. They had to stop Xemnas first.

\--

Despite everything he had gone through- Riku was back in the realm of darkness again. Except this time, it was with his best friend. He could hardly stand, and it looked like they might never get out. As they sat down by the waves, Riku decided this was as good a time as any to tell Sora the truth.

“Hey, Sora.There’s something I never told you. Not ever.”

“Not ever? What do you mean?”

“You know how I never let you come over to my house? We were always at yours, or the island. I didn’t want you to find out about my secret. I’m...I’m not a boy Sora. I’m a girl. I always was.” 

Riku looked out at the dark ocean so he didn’t have to see Sora’s face. His disgust. Of course he would be disgusted, Riku had been lying to him their entire lives. Riku was a girl.

“I never knew...Riku, if that’s how you feel then I’ll still be your friend no matter what. I don’t care if you’re a girl, you’re still my best friend!” Sora declared.

“Sora...you aren’t...disgusted by me? All this time, I was pretending to be a boy, I wanted to be just like you. I only ever wanted to do boy stuff and train like the other boys on the island. I tricked you into believing I was one of you...I was always working so hard so that you would think I was the cooler one, when really I was the one who always wanted to be like you.”

“But Riku, if you didn’t like being a boy, why did you try so hard to be one? I wouldn’t have made fun of you, look at Kairi! We never would have known the difference anyway, we were kids.”

“Wait, Sora, I don’t think you understand. I...was _born_ a girl.”

Finally, realization dawned on Sora.

“You mean this whole time you were...you _weren’t_ a boy?”

“No. Well, I mean, I wanted to be. Want to be. I was always so jealous of Kairi for doing the same stuff as us but still being a girl. I wished I could have been like that. But I hated the stupid dresses my mom bought, I couldn’t stand them. And when puberty hit, I hated Kairi even more. All of these changes were happening- the wrong ones. I was angry that she was probably excited about becoming a woman. That’s why I started wearing shirts on the island. I never used to before that.”

Riku waited anxiously for Sora’s reply. Just when it felt like Sora might never speak, he turned to look at Riku and began to speak slowly.

“Riku, I don’t really know what to say. You’ve always been a boy to me. And I don’t see you any differently now that you’ve told me you weren’t born that way. I’ll always be your friend. And...I’ll always love you. I know it must have been hard on you. Is that why you wanted to leave the islands so badly?”

Riku sighed heavily, “It’s why I did a lot of things I shouldn’t have. The way I treated Kairi...it’s unforgivable. She never did anything to me and yet I hated her. I wanted to get back home, to tell her everything. Tell her the truth and how sorry I am. That I want to be friends with her, for real this time.”

“You know Kairi will forgive you. We all did dumb stuff as kids. She’ll understand and accept you too. You don’t have to worry about us, Riku! You’re the one that saved Kairi, after all.”

“Saved? I didn’t save her. It was my fault she lost her heart to begin with. If I hadn’t left the islands-”

“Shut up, Riku! It’s all in the past. We’re going back home to see her as soon as we find a way out. And even if it was your fault- which it wasn’t- she would forgive you. She thinks of you as a good friend, Riku, I know it. Remember how she showed me that it was you, earlier? She cares about you- and I don’t think you ever really hated her, either.”

Riku pondered this for a moment. “That’s probably true. Thanks, Sora. It means a lot to me, really. I don’t know where I’d be without a friend like you.” He chuckled softly before attempting at a joke, “Well, in darkness probably. C’mon, let's figure out how to get out of here.”

With Sora’s help, Riku stood slowly. As Riku limped closer to the shore, Sora paused before catching up to him as if he was gathering courage.

“And hey, Riku? If we’re telling secrets now, I guess I should say…”

Without saying anything else, Sora pulled Riku’s head down gently and pressed their lips together before pulling back quickly.

“Wh- you didn’t say anything! Did you do that just because you found out I’m a girl?” Riku sputtered.

On one hand, Riku’s mind was spinning at the fact that his lifelong crush had just _kissed_ him. On the other hand, he was devastated that he only did it because he knew the truth about Riku now.

“No, dummy!” Sora shouted, clearly embarrassed. “I did it because you’re a guy. And I like you. And I like you cause you’re a guy. Sorry, I shouldn’t have done anything.” Blushing, he turned away, arms folded against his chest.

“Sora...I...like you too. Like that.”

Just as Sora turned to look back at Riku, shocked, light began to flood the beach.

“The Door to Light!”

\--

Once everyone got settled back into Destiny Islands, Riku decided it was finally the right time to talk to Kairi. They met up on the play island, leaning against the paopu tree. Riku took a deep breath, prepared to accept the worst outcome.

“Kairi...I know I apologized to you before, but I need to tell you again. And I need to tell you the truth about everything.”

“You should know you don’t have to apologize to me about anything. I know you didn’t mean for any of that to happen. And, I wanted to get off of the island too. So it wasn’t just you.”

“I don’t understand...how you can just forgive me like that. Kairi, I hated you. I hated you from the moment I met you, and you didn’t even do anything to deserve it.”

Kairi’s expression changed, brow furrowing. She knew that Riku hadn’t liked her when they first met, but it seemed like things had gotten better, especially after elementary school.

“But that’s changed. I really want to start over again, I want to be able to be your friend and mean it. The truth is Kairi, I’m a girl. Well, I was born as one anyway. I hated you because I was jealous of you. I didn’t understand why I felt like a boy, but you could just be a tomboy. It made me angry that you did all the same things as me and Sora, but you didn’t ever once feel like you had to take your shirt off. And it’s because... I’m just a boy. I can’t be a girl like you, Kairi, because I’m just not. But I wanted to be one so badly.”

“Riku...I never realized. That must have been so difficult to find out. And I never once noticed you were hurting, or talked to you about how you felt. I was a bad friend, too.”

“What?”, Riku nearly yelled. “How can you be so calm about this! I was so terrible to you all this time, there’s no way you were the bad friend here!”

“I was jealous of you too, Riku. You and Sora were already so close when I got here, I knew I could never take your place. Even though Sora and I are good friends now, I’ll never be you. So even if you hated me for who I was, I hated you too, for being Sora’s best friend.”

“Then I guess we’re even,” Riku smiled bitterly before continuing. “I still...feel terrible. For getting your heart lost, and using you like a bargaining chip with Sora. That was wrong, and I want to make it up to you.”

“It’s not your fault I lost my heart! It could have happened to any of us, even you. But I accept your apology, and I forgive you. You found me, and that’s what’s important. So Riku, let’s start over. I’m Kairi, it’s nice to meet you!”

She stuck out her hand, as if it could erase all the years of hurt between them. Shyly, Riku took her hand and shook it, making a pact.

“I’m Riku, it’s nice to meet you too.”

They both looked at each other and started laughing at the absurdity, but there was warmth in their eyes. Riku’s face turned serious again.

“Hey Kairi, I used to talk to you, before you got your heart back. It felt good...to get things off my chest, even if you weren’t really listening. I always wanted to ask you...do you really like being a girl?”

“Hmmm,” Kairi pondered his question for a moment. “Yes. I’ve never even thought about not being a girl. I just always wanted to play with you guys. And by the way, just because Selphie didn’t spar with you guys all the time doesn’t mean girls don’t like to do that stuff. It’s just a Selphie thing. Just like I really liked doing it. There’s a whole lot more to girls than just whether or not they're athletic.” Kairi elbowed Riku affectionately, “You really are a boy if you think girls are that simple!”

“You’re right, I guess I’ve just been really stupid this whole time. You know, about Sora. I’m really sorry that he, y’know. I didn’t mean to...take him from you.”

Kairi rolled her eyes. 

“First of all, Sora can’t be taken from either of us just because he happens to like one of us romantically. Secondly, I can’t believe it took you guys this long! Middle school was such a disaster because you two would never have an actual conversation! And finally, Riku, I wasn’t ever interested in Sora like that.”

Riku’s jaw dropped, “You weren’t? What do you mean!”

Kairi turned away, face red. “That’s another thing you don’t know about me. I’m a...I like girls.”

“Wait, so all three of us are-”

“Yep. We’re all gay. Figures that we would be the three closest friends on the island. You know, Riku, maybe I wouldn’t have really figured it out without you.”

“You’ve lost me again.”

“Well, if you hadn’t gotten us into this huge mess, I never would have gone to Twilight Town, and met...this girl, Olette. I mean, I kind of had an idea by this point? But wow...uh, I mean-”

“Ohhhh, so it’s Olette you like...I guess we’ll have to figure out how to get you back there somehow.” Riku winked, just to be as obnoxious as possible. Kairi shoved him playfully.

“Don’t tease me! Especially after I had to listen to Sora pine after you every day for, I don’t know, years?”

“Okay, okay, sorry! Look, I’m really glad we had this talk. It means a lot to me that you listened to me after everything. And, that you still want to be friends. Seriously, Kairi. I might have been jealous, and rude, but I always cared about you. I always wanted to be friends. So, thank you.”

“Of course, Riku.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if you read this whole thing thank you so much! this was a lot of fun to write, i hope you were able to enjoy. im on twitter @zanetashadoe if you wanna talk trans headcanons :^D


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